The Defining Decade

A very good book. It starts a bit slowly but explores many problems and doubts of people in their twenties with solid examples and interesting reflections. The chapters on relationships (understanding differences) and on children stood out; my takeaway is to be willing to take the leap. The one on work felt fairly basic to me, but it could be a turning point for many who feel adrift.

Notes

• Identity Capital: it explains that in your twentysomething years you build the skills and experiences you need to move forward. Choose what helps you grow the most.
• Weak Ties: I had already come across this elsewhere, but it shows how a network helps, especially weak ties, made up of people unlike you with different perspectives, skills, and worlds.
• The Unthought Known: vague; look within yourself and find the dream and direction you seek. Example of the hipster who builds his bike. He wants to be unique but still needs to adapt to pursue his dream.
• My Life Should Look Better on Facebook: basic. Stop comparing yourself to other people’s curated lives.
• The Customized Life: all the jars. The more choices you have, the more problems you have. Commit to the options that attract you and filter down to what truly matters. You do not have two hundred real choices.
• An Upmarket Conversation: the section on serious relationships I mentioned. It looks at statistics and notes that similar couples stay together longer, but different skills help. Personalities are key. Do not ignore them. If they are opposite, it is difficult.
• The Cohabitation Effect: a focus on cohabitation with some statistics. Overall, couples who move in for convenience rather than commitment tend to run into problems early.
• Finale, “Mountain doesn’t care”. Try, take the leap, grow, but do not lose yourself and do not fall behind because of fear. The world moves on and does not care.