The Elephant In The Brain

Recommended by Arjan Codes, it argues that the world runs on emotions, not logic, and it is important for a dev to understand how others react. Not a masterpiece, but I appreciated the authors’ honesty: they admit they do not know every topic they discuss, so they asked other experts or presented hypotheses, and some chapters are clear enough that they opened my mind a bit to the hidden motives behind choices that seem “for the greater good.” I would not reread it, but it is worth keeping as a reference for the future. See also this summary and Nat. It wanders across topics; in general, note these points and remember people often have ulterior motives.

Notes

• An elephant in the brain plays on the idea of the elephant in the room: a big concept that occupies the mind but no one acknowledges, an introspective taboo.
• The main thesis is that we humans do and ask for many things because we have hidden motives, often tied to primitive instincts. We are designed that way.

we ignore the elephant because doing so is strategic. Self-deception allows us to act selfishly without having to appear quite so selfish in front of others.

Why we hide our motives

1. Animal behavior: for example, chimpanzees groom each other for long periods. It is politics; they want to ingratiate themselves with higher ranks. This works only if others see and judge the behavior.
2. Competition: for example, birds build attractive nests to lure mates but do not use them. The toughest competitors within a species are the species itself. We may do things for Prestige (actors) or Dominance (dictators), and we send implicit and explicit signals with our behaviors.
3. Norms: we have norms to follow, and we often enforce them through gossip and reputation. You must follow your social group’s rules or risk ostracism.
4. Cheating: with the right excuse we do not mind cheating; a secret can be public domain as long as no one calls it out (e.g., the emperor’s new clothes and brown paper bags in NY).
5. Self-deception: in short, top performers are often those who impose beliefs on themselves (see soldiers). Or rather, you get the opponent to believe something. Four archetypes: Madman -> Nixon acting crazy to push others to negotiate; Loyalist -> “Sure, I’ll go along with your beliefs”; Cheerleader -> propaganda, like a startup founder who is forcibly optimistic; Cheater -> lies to himself on purpose because he thinks it is the best path.
6. Confabulation: there are two hemispheres, right and left. In experiments where the connection between them was damaged and the left was asked about something initiated by the right (like why you stood up), it would still give an answer, denying it did not know what the other hemisphere did. We often do the same: our job is not to make decisions, but to justify them. Like flaking on plans, we always look for an excuse, not “I don’t feel like it.”

Hidden motives in everyday life

1. Body language: the usual “What Every Body Is Saying” stuff: eye contact, scents, hands, palms, posture.
2. Laughter: we use laughter to signal that we found something funny and that we are in a playful, not serious, context. The classic “just kidding.” Worth keeping in mind not to confuse others with this.
3. Conversations: do not treat conversations as a simple information swap: you give me X, I give you Y. It is about reputation; if I provide good information I am a good teammate and will get more attention and esteem from others. It is not a commercial negotiation.
4. Consumption: a bit vague, but it is about the rat race we should avoid, since our social status should not end up in flexing and showing off. Aim for wealth rather than fleeting, showy things. It is hard because modern society often judges people by what they have, not who they are.
5. ⭐ Art: art signals how much free time and energy we have to make something apparently useless (since cave paintings). We value replicas less; if we discover a work is just a photo it loses value. We appreciate art for the effort the artist invested.
6. ⭐ Charity: charity also hides ulterior motives. Many donors do not check where their money goes or whether the nonprofit uses it efficiently. When someone tried to analyze the ROI they were indignant. That is odd: if we truly cared, we would want to know whether the money is used well. This is because 1) we see it as distant, so we care less, and 2) we do it to show the world we are good (otherwise donations would be anonymous).
7. Education: if top colleges wanted to help more students, they would expand slots. They cost more because they are limited, not because the teaching is necessarily better (but the network is, see the stats). School also teaches you to adapt and be measured, etc.
8. ⭐ Medicine: stuffing ourselves with medicine and going to the doctor for every little thing is a classic way to show we are trying and took action. Medicine can be an elaborate “kiss it better.” Various studies show that spending more does not improve survival odds, but when we are ill we do not think that way; we want the best right away. If we want to live long it is better not to smoke, drink less, eat well, exercise, etc.
9. Religion: more than religion itself, people are united by the beliefs, rituals, and norms of their community. It is more of a social system.
10. Politics: voters do not vote for personal interest (a single vote matters little) but as a signal to show support for a cause they believe in. The vote itself is not the point, since it is secret, but making noise on social media or in public, showing you support the cause.